(IC journal entry)
Reading my last entry, I feel foolish to have complained. Things have only gained momentum and transpired there is no one which it is wise to trust, perhaps even to seek guidance from. ( Read more... )

Plot, Scene & Misc plot device ideas.
NOTE: This is generic frame/seeds of ideas for folks to examine, comment on, tweak, expound on, keep or toss as they like. These are mere ramblings, do with what you like. Details which are left blank I will expound on if need be.

Potential settings:

*The women and children will stay and fight, will you?

A breath takingly idyllic village on the fringe of the empire, The men have been called away/killed in battle leaving the now threatened village threatened but the remaining occupants are standing even though they're almost certainly doomed for it.

Twists:
*The village is either at a strategical relevant position or is the location of some artifact which means if the village is lost this entire shadow pay be lost

*This could be someplace of relevance to one or more PC, I know there are several PCs (including Celeste) that have history or background in the Empire. Perhaps there's a division amongst our heros over leaving the villagers to their fate or using the limited time to make a defense in a more favorable position.

Spying opportunities:
*Should any PCs stick around they stand to become POWs, however this puts them in a position to overhear an alarming and pressing bit of intel. They must find a way to liberate themselves and either 1) Make it back to tell the others or 2) hatch a plan to do something about the intel they've learned.

*Political intel-Perhaps the foe isn't a mess of road monsters but rather a corrupt magistrate, in the fringe areas they are often left to their own devices. Certain members must learn what they can and find a way to prove this has happened and despite being foreigner worms, get this to the right hands. Meanwhile other heros must keep this crooked magistrate from achieving his nefarious ends.

Potential setting II- War torn country

An entire countryside has been devastated by war, be it acquiring a new holding, fighting the road, or some other cause. A vital object/person either to the metaphysics or the land, or even relevant to a higher cause our heros seek to achieve, has been taken. Our heros must get it back.

Twists:
*The object/person has been taken through a gate which is threatening to fail, the is IMMENENT DANGER to anyone who goes through if they are in this soon to expire world if they don't make it through the gate before it fails.

*The item is damaged/the person is dead, the heros must figure out how to replace the person or repair the item-perhaps someone of our heros must fill a void temporarily while the others seek a more permanent fix. The volunteer would have to pay a VERY HIGH PRICE for the time he purchased for his/he companions.

There's more, I changed directions mid-brainstorm so it's not as much as I'd planned initially but there'll be more suggestions/tidbits thrown out for consideration, for now I wanted to get this posted so folks could commence poking.

(IC Journal entry)
Things progress as to be expected, the days and nights continue to blur together with the usual meetings, paperwork, and the occasional shift at the hospital. I have finally met-not entirely in person-Corwin. Little enough to say-I rarely judge on first impressions and the purpose was more for his benefit than my own-though I would be surprised if there was a second discussion. Additionally I've met Culver Feldane, and can easily understand why there are a number who'd see him worm food, for a man wanting something of Mandrake he was remarkably eager to burn bridges. No doubt it's just a matter of time before it all collapses around him so I see little need to trouble myself at this point.


I finally managed to make time to speak with Brand, and am profoundly grateful to have found him apparently reasonably well and as lucid as I've ever seen him-I could have kissed his sunken radiation-marred face upon hearing he's cornered a long standing cosmic problem and have every confidence it is within his ability to remedy, even should it take time. No word from Lucretia or Theo, but I take my blessings where I can find them these days. The chat with my duke also reminded me of duties I am neglecting in serving the house, both in business endeavors and concerning Mandrake's metaphysical duty to Amber. I desperately need a cousin with the appropriate skillsets to impart what I know about the greater mysteries of life energies and what my research and experimentation have revealed-otherwise should something happen to me there is none to tend the cornerstone or attempt to repair it if it should grow even more neglected than it is now. I hate to be faced with such thoughts but it seems as if I may well find myself encouraging unions and require members to produce progeny to ensure Mandrake is not one disaster away from losses we might not be able to recover from. Naturally, my first instinct is to limit the demands and burdens I place on my family but my attempts to delegate various tasks have been less than successful and I simply cannot do everything which I am expected to do. I myself would be facing the same requirements as the rest of the family, which is just one more reason the idea makes me squeamish.


At least Kirra's made leaps and bounds with her studies and is about ready to take greater responsibilities with the Hospital, Shane has begun to expand his own horizons and continues to take the slack that I'm forced to leave as Dragon while I tend to various other responsibilities. Portia has returned to us, but I have yet to decide how best to occupy her. Like me Portia has always been willful and never shy of speaking her mind. Never the less-I'm pleased to have my cousins near and even if I'm not afforded time to myself, find some pleasure in seeing them prosper.


So, I imagine I will press forward, and keep telling myself there will be time and opportunity sometime soon for a damned vacation. For now there's a Gala to plan, Mandrake needs and has earned reason to celebrate. I hate parties, and formal wear, but not even close to the greatest indignity I've gladly brought on myself for this lot.

Prayer: "Holy Unicorn, your not so humble servant I remain, may my failures and short comings be such which may be spared and my triumphs where it counts. Though my steps have begun to falter, allow me the fortitude to continue to press on. In the name of Order and Righteousness (IE: Amen)"

(IC journal entry)

            If there's a suspicious gap here this journal isn't missing pages-I've simply have not made the time. One crisis to another, things have not improved. I still act as Proxy for the house and tend to duties that once terrified me and now nearly are a welcomed break from doom mongering and bleak reports and briefings. I am pleased to report that at least at the moment those within the house seem to flourish. We have been fortunate to acquire two new souls, which are not blood but are assets to the house. Einkil has shown devotion, commitment, and no little aptitude at just about everything I've demanded of him, much like Shane-who I now simply call my brother as it seems more fitting than cousin. Kirra came to us in sore need of a safe haven and has applied herself diligently to her duties at the hospital and has been training with Shane. Her spirit seems to improve and she's fiercely committed to the well being of Mandrake and those who wear Mandrake's colors. Speaking of Shane, Llewella, now the Regent by Julian's naming, has given Shane a most curious blade said to have once belonged to one of the elder Princes. He's seemingly become obsessed and I am keeping a close eye on him to gauge how concerned I should be by this. He finds time to be a pain in the ass, tend to lessons, and for the most part his duties so I will reserve comment for the moment.
         As I mentioned previously there's a snowballing cluster fuck, or even a number of them, rolling towards Amber. It's as if I'm in a nightmare which I cannot wake from. A nightmare where everyone I love, and everything I know, is in the path of obvious danger and no matter how much racket, or the method, they're all deaf to my warnings. To my pleas for assistance. Guidance. Insight. It's as if I'm a ghost forced to watch some horrible tragedy unfold, like some intangible specter. Indeed, it seems as if it should be some bad dream but I'm still dreaming.
         I never wished for duty, obligation, or responsibilities and now I've nearly half a dozen various responsibilities from matters of the House to building an official Ministry. Between these and others there's no few festering issues, troublesome pots of bubbling doom which every so often belch out something foul and keeps the sense of dread in my belly good and robust. Ironically in addition to these duties and concerns I've acquired a patron. I am told that I aspire to Knighthood. Who knew? Apparently not I. 
         Blessed horn, I'm tired. Exhausted. Spent. One problem to the next, and an increasing number of people looking for reassurance and something which resembles a plan. Each is given the trademarked Dragon peptalk and carefully measured arrogance balanced with logic, but it's as if I pay a toll for each one. My cousins, those I ask for assistance, those who bring concerns or errands which require attention. It's like I'm bartering my soul for some illusion that there's a reasonable chance to divert each one of these miniature dooms. There's been the taste of fear in my mouth for weeks and I can't taste anything anymore, and no amount of rest or tonic restores me. I continue to put one foot infront of the other out of nothing more than lack of a better plan. Do what I've always done, even if like a ghost I feel transparent and impotent in the face of what threatens everything I've come to care for. I'm not accustomed to sticking around to fight when there's actually something at stake and I DO NOT LIKE IT. The fact it leaves me wishing for shelter. For others it's a house head, a commanding officer, a father. Someone who at least creates the illusion of knowing better, of not quaking in the face of what frightens the rest of us.  Perhaps it's childish, and perhaps why I find myself no such indulgence.
        IF that's so, I'd better toughen up because there are still no few very real problems that need very real solutions and while everyone's standing around waiting for the other shoe to drop, there's a number who are just as eager to prevent it as I am. I might be an illusion trying to keep the flashflood at bay, but should it happen and the attempts I assist with fail, I will dissipate having spared no recourse or resource. To quote a wise man "we do what we can because we must".


Prayer 
Merciful unicorn, please open our eyes, our minds, inspire the conviction of a Kingdom to fight for all we hold dear. Also, Blessed Unicorn, should I die-keep the damned Feldanes at bay. Creepy sons of bitches. In the name of Order and righteousness. (ie: amen)
          

The faces all around me they don't smile they just crack
Waiting for our ship to come but our ships not coming back
We do have time like pennies in a jar
What are we saving for [x2]

There's a smell of stale fear that's reeking from our skins.
The drinking never stops because the drinks absolve our sins
We sit and grow our roots through the floor
But what are we waiting for? [x2]

[chorus]
So give me something to believe
Cause I am living just to breathe
And I need something more
To keep on breathing for
So give me something to believe

Something's always coming you can hear it in the ground
It swells into the air
With the rising
Rising sound
And never comes but shakes the boards and rattles all the doors
What are we waiting for [x2]

[chorus]

I am hiding from some beast
But the beast was always here
Watching without eyes
Because the beast is just my fear
That I am just nothing
Now its just what I've become
What am I waiting for
Its already done

Oh

[chorus]
So give me something to believe
Cause I am living just to breath
And I need something more
To keep on breathing for
So give me something to believe

(IC journal entry) It's strange. The more that takes place in Amber, the more apparent it seems as if things may never change. Perhaps that it is that I am young, or never knew what it was to have Oberon as king. There will always be power plays for the throne, transparent and usually weak and inept attempts by certain individuals and houses to influence agendas, and the royal redheads will always be the force of their own destruction.
                  I never gave much thought to myself, my circumstances, or commitments. Now, I find myself in what may be a lifelong obligation to my house, preparing for war, mired in politics, but jaded enough for detached bemusement at the things in my life which remain as they always have. War, for one example. Few find comfort or purpose in such a costly and dark thing as war, but ask any career soldier and you soon learn that a soldier without a cause or a war is a very confused and restless creature.
                  I find myself in Pathi, of all places. The land which turned away Mandrake's common ancestor, fighting Pliny's throng of black magi and their workings. Prince charming sent a note like a soldier off to war ' I hope to come back' and 'eternal love' more or less sum up the message. History between my blood and Pathi, or my own nagging doubts, even the brewing war in Amber, I could not reconcile not coming. Perhaps I'm growing soft. Unicorn save me, maybe all these noble sorts I find myself surrounded by are starting to influence me.
                  The growing habit of admiring certain noble characters in my life, how deeply pleased I was to see a certain Karm knighted, seems strange. I couldn't guess at why, but those who play at being white knights seem to be growing on me. Even if I never aspired to such a unyielding standard. Even if I have, and likely will again, exploit those traits as it suits me. Maybe it's just a certain knight's habit of brighter side of things. Sometimes, mired in dirty work and the taste of grit in one's mouth, it's nice to be around someone who believes the better possibilities in life. Still somewhat disturbing I find excuses to seek out such company, sometimes woefully flimsy ones. Best be mindful-these things start rumors and despite my having no shame, such rumors would likely flatter me less than him. The other side of the coin is one of Caine's oldest sons. Claims me as friend and I only recall a handful of times our paths have crossed. Far be it from me to look a gift horse in the mouth but from a man like the shrewd Captain, but that's the word. Businessman. No businessman ever gives anything away. Not really. There is always a return expected, even if it's a gamble
                I need to focus more on my studies and exercises. I can feel...something...restless, Impatient. Demanding. No doubt the lack of...physical vices I've allowed myself to indulge in has something to do with it. There's more...and I find it troublesome. No., I'm afraid. I'm afraid I'm loosing myself, and I will never find my way back. That will simply have to wait. Pathi, then Amber, and one of these days I will be afforded time to stew in my own emotional baggage. Put that way I'm rather pleased to have something to do.

 Ok, people. I hate to be the one to air dirty laundry but I have noticed a growing problem, and have received multiple complaints from others over the last few weeks. There are a few guidelines of MUSH etiquette which should be common sense but aren't. Here's some Intro to MUSHing for those of you who would rather people didn't avoid you:

* BE CONSIDERATE OF OTHER MUSHERS TIME - This should be self explanatory, if you have to AFK, having latency issues, are distracted, @ work DON'T join large scenes and then complain about being posed over, in smaller scenes make sure the other players are advised. If it's a plot scene involving several PCs-bow out. It will save you and everyone else irritation and keep things running smoothly.

1. * BE _PRESENT_ - I don't mean just be there. Be there in virtual body AND mind. There is NO EXCUSE  to make others CONSISTENTLY wait 10+ minutes for a one line unresponsive pose. Be interactive, and engaged, otherwise WHY ARE YOU IN THE SCENE?! This is my #1 pet peeve. It's insulting to other players who are actually putting forth an effort and trying to create an interesting RP experience. WHAT'S MORE- IF YOU ARE A FEATURE, A PLOT-CO, OR RUNNING A SCENE YOU ABSOLUTELY MUST BEG OFF AND RESCHEDULE. THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR ANYONE WITH RP RESPONSIBILITY TO BE GUILTY OF THIS. Plot co's and folks who offer to run scenes are accepting RESPONSIBILITY. Own up to it or BOW OUT. There are a number of guilty offenders and you know who you are. NOTE: THIS CONCERNS REPEAT OFFENDERS. Stuff happens. It's life. We all know and understand about unexpected interruptions. For how to handle these - see BE CONSIDERATE OF OTHER MUSHERS TIME.

* KEEP IC AND OOC SEPARATE - You don't have to like everyone ooc, and having IC enemies is a good way to add depth and dynamic to IC relationships and plot. However, try to remember that you are not five years old if someone does something you don't like.  Be direct. Be polite. Be patient or hide in some little hole where everyone else doesn't have to put up with your OOC drama.

* CONFLICT MAKES THE WORLD GO 'ROUND- Conflict is good. It's healthy. However there is far too little IC and FAR TOO MUCH DRAMA OOC. We have trouble rankings for a reason use them. If you take what happens ICly, OOCly, then MUSHing is not for you. If you disagree-that is what the trouble rankings are for. Adjust your trouble preference accordingly.

There no doubt will be more and I'm sure anything I don't add others will.
**IF YOU ARE READING THIS AND OFFENDED BY IT, YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM**

Personal Journal entry:

Came across this journal reorganizing my office. I had hidden it so well even I forgot that it existed. Reckon now that I remember there's little excuse not to add something to the naked pages. I've left the Black Sheep in charge of my second and now serve house Mandrake as the Dragon. It still doesn't seem right when folks call me by the title. Theo will always be the dragon to me. Theo was like a big brother to us all, and it leaves large shoes to fill. Likely, I should rename the title-it raises a fair number of questions amongst the curious.

I've had to move back in, Pathi's Hierophant helped me with the issue of space so that the office doubles as office and quarter. Still miss the palace, to think living there made me paranoid at first. Staying here should give me the chance to get to know my family better, and those who serve Mandrake. I don't know if it'll make any difference in the end. I can lead armies, and I can fight, but it's becoming increasingly clear not all threats to Mandrake are outside the house's walls or borders. Protecting Mandrake from it's own duke or guests seems as if it is an inevitable issue after my last encounter with their graces.

Curiously I've come to know a couple tragically, and rather predictably honorable sorts. Chivalry, I'm almost willing to label it a social defect or birth defect like having an extra chromosome. It's almost painful to watch but I find myself more, and more envious of these two-both who are Karms. Maybe they're both naive, or ignorant, less exposed to the doom or those who Amber seems to trust to save them, but regardless I wish that I had half as much faith in anything-anything at all- as either of these two seem to have in their ideals.

Current Theme Song & Mood: http://www.rockpoplyrics.com/carolina_liar/showmewhatimlookingfor.php

MATCHBOX TWENTY LYRICS 

How Far We've Come 
Hello
Hello
Hello

I'm waking up at the start of the end of the world,
But its feeling just like every other morning before,
Now i wonder what my life is going to mean if it's gone,
The cars are moving like a half a mile an hour if that
And I started staring at the passengers who're waving goodbye
Can you tell me what was ever really special about me all this time?

[Chorus:]
But i believe the world is burning to the ground
Oh well i guess we're gonna find out
Let's see how far we've come
Let's see how far we've come
Well I, believe, it all, is coming to an end
Oh well, i guess, we're gonna pretend,
Let's see how far we've come
Let's see how far we've come

I think it turned ten o'clock but i don't really know
Then i can't remember caring for an hour or so
Started crying and i couldn't stop myself
I started running but there's no where to run to
I sat down on the street and took a look at myself
Said where you going man you know the world is headed for hell
Say your goodbyes if you've got someone you can say goodbye to

I believe the world is burning to the ground
Oh well i guess we're gonna find out
Let's see how far we've come
Let's see how far we've come

Well I, believe, it all, is coming to an end
Oh well, i guess, we're gonna pretend,
Let's see how far we've come
Let's see how far we've come

Its gone gone baby its all gone
There is no one on the corner and there's no one at home
It was cool cool, it was just all cool
Now it's over for me and it's over for you
Well its gone gone baby its all gone
There is no one on the corner and there's no one at home
Well it was cool cool, it was just all cool
Now it's over for me and it's over for you

But i believe the world is burning to the ground
Oh well i guess we're gonna find out
Let's see how far we've come
Let's see how far we've come
Well I, believe, it all, is coming to an end
Oh well, i guess, we're gonna pretend,
Let's see how far we've come [X9]

KT Tunstall - Minitature Disasters 
I don't want to be second best
Don't want to stand in line
Don't want to fall behind
Don't want to get caught out
Don't want to do without
And the lesson I must learn
Is that I've got to wait my turn

Looks like I got to be hot and cold
I got to be taught and told
Got to be good as gold
But perfectly honest
I think it would be good for me
Coz it's a hindrance to my health
I'm a stranger to myself

Miniature disasters and minor catastrophoes
Bring me to my knees
Well I must be my own master
Or a miniature disaster will be
It will be the death of me

I don't have to raise my voice
Don't have to be underhand
Just got to understand
That it's gonna be up and down
It's gonna be lost and found
And I can't take to the sky
Before I like it on the ground

And i need to be patient
And i need to be brave
Need to discover
How i need to behave
And I'll find out the answers
When i know what to ask
But i speak a different language
And everybody's talking too fast

Miniature disasters and minor catastrophoes
Bring me to my knees

Well I must be my own master
or a miniature disaster will be
I've got to run a little faster
Or a miniature disaster will be
Well I need to know I'll last if a little
Miniature disaster hits me
It could be the death of me

(Journal entry) I've never decided if full onset paranoia was a survival skill or mental malady. That I've slowly begun to question the odds of small, unpleasant coincidences in my life suggests either there's a cosmic conspiracy, or I'm simply loosing my mind. Either way, I'm not so convinced the outcome would be different. Saw Captain Unshakeable last night. Still don't know what to make of the man. Or the irritating and nagging impression that if someone were to ruffle him I'd take personal exception. Have to find a contract. In all this mess brought on by the road, there must be work. If we don't manage soon, I have no choice but to return to the golden circle. The flock hasn't said anything, but all this spare time is bad for morale.